Saturday, May 29, 2010
Out of Time
I've been sitting here for hours going through the blogs that I follow and the blogs of those that follow me and have come to the point where time has almost run out. My friend Wynand is coming to fetch me to take me to his house for a game of Scrabble. I was hoping to be able to write a meaningful post tonight as so many things have been happening lately that I would love to tell you but that will have to wait. I will continue this post from Wynand's home just now. Till then God bless you all. I'm back and only three hours have gone by. Just to let you know that this post is once again about how God and his son Jesus speak to me whenever He has something to say to me. For example I've been struggling with something for a long time now, namely my own personal disbelief that God loves me and that he does give me whatever I ask for. This stems from a real encounter that I had with God and an inability to believe that God could possibly forgive me and that He has already decided to send me to hell when I come before him for judgement. I have been told so many times that it is a lie and that I must get over it and have faith. It is all very well to hear this kind of council but it only sinks into the head and not into the heart, it needs to be heart knowledge not head knowledge. Well today I was saying to the lord that I am struggling with my faith and praying at the same time about something that happened about a week ago. And knowing my God and how He talks to me, sure enough he gave me the scripture that pertains to what He was trying to show me last week and then gave me the passage in the book of John (6v36), "But you, as I said, do not believe although you have seen." Yes Lord I have seen and yes I didn't believe but I do now. Thank you lord, I love you. I find it amazing how God deals with our insecurities and how faithful he is. Fear of trusting Him has for a long time crippled me and last night after asking the Lord to cleanse me of this spirit of fear and doubt He gave me the scripture where Jesus casts a legion of demons out of a madman and sends them into a herd of pigs that go rushing off into the lake and commit suicide. Today that spirit of fear has been cast out at last. It is a terrible thing to lose one's faith in God's love and forgiveness. I have known about God's love and faithfulness towards his people for a long time and that has been what I've been writing about but to finally accept that I too am one of his people brings a whole new dimension into my life. I have loved the Lord all this time but now I know that He loves me too. Jesus deals with me in such a way that he leaves me no room for excuses and He humbles me. God says in his word that He will heal our apostasy(lack of faith) and that we must not be upset when he disciplines us, for we are only learners but once the pupil has been trained he will reach his teachers level. These are amazing words that guarantee eternal life, I am so grateful that I am being taught and not just thrown away as something worthless. Have faith in God. I tell you this: if anyone says to this mountain, "Be lifted from your place and hurled into the sea", and has no inward doubts, but believes that what he says is happening, it will be done for him. I tell you, then, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.(Mark 11v23+24) These words are true.